The pressure associated with being a professional athlete led Boston Red Sox Outfielder Jarren Duran to try suicide, a personal moment that he detailed in a new documentation.
Athletic and ESPN, who were among the stores to get an advance of the eight-part Netflix documentations, “The Clubhouse: A Year with the Red Sox,” shared parts of the interview with Duran on Monday. Duran’s story is presented in the fourth section.
Duran, 28, was selected by Red Sox in the seventh round of the MLB draft 2018 after his career in Long Beach State. He made his Major League debut on July 17, 2021 and said it was not a simple season.
He met .215 in 33 matches, followed by .221 in 58 matches the following season. His fault in the outfield added Boos and insults he heard from the Tribun and the social media chairs directed at him and increased his depression.
“I already heard it from fans,” said Duran in Docusa series, which was shared by ESPN. “And what they told me, [it was like]”I’ve told myself ten times worse in the mirror.” It was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore. “
He went on to detail how he loaded a single ball in the rifle and pulled in the trigger but it did not work.
“I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off,” he said Per ESPN. “I took it as a sign of,” I might have to be here for a reason, “so it was when I started looking myself in the mirror after the gun did not go off. I was like,” Do I want to be here or don’t I want to be here? “It happened for a reason and obviously you are here for a reason so let’s be the way you want to be and play [the way] You want to play and live as you want to live. “
With the new attitude turned things for Duran. After starting the season at Triple-A Worcester, he played in 102 matches for Red Sox 2023. He continued to beat .295 with eight homers and 40 RBI but made a huge splash of 2024, when he was named his first All-Star team, won the game’s most valuable player and ended eighth in the vote for the American league.
Last season Duran played in 160 matches and led the large leagues in flat appearance (735), bats (671), doubles (48) and Tripples (14) and added 111 runs, 21 home races, 75 RBI and 34 stolen bases. He was also a Gold Glove Award finalist.
In a statement, Red Sox Duran praised to talk about his fighters.
“Jarren’s decision to share his story is a courage that reaches far beyond baseball,” said Red Sox President and CEO Sam Kennedy. “By opening up, he shows others who may be struggling because they are not alone and asking for help is not just ok, it is important.
“Every member of this organization continues to stand with him. He has our deepest admiration, he has always had our full support and we are extremely lucky to have him as part of our team.”
Duran reminds himself of his journey through the band he carries on his wrist.
“On my left wrist I write, ‘[expletive] “Em,” because it is me who tells my demons, “You won’t disappear me,” said Duran in Docusa series, Per ESPN. ” And on my right wrist I write, ‘still alive’ because I’m still here and I’m still struggling. “
-Field level media
